Are You Leading with Dignity or Leaving 'Dead Bodies' in the Hallway?
Have you seen this leader? He is considered brilliant – great with vision and strategy. His commitment to the organization is so deep he works 60-70 hours a week. And he has the best intentions for ensuring his large division achieves its goals.
The problem is: He leaves ‘dead bodies’ in the hallway.
Some of these are his direct reports, but many are his peers. He can be verbally abusive when they make a mistake or don’t do exactly what he wants. People are rather afraid of him, so they withhold information and focus more on self-protection than production.
Ultimately, the leader I have in mind got ‘displaced.’ Yet he is an all-too-common archetype. Yet he is an all-too-common archetype - and he, of course, can be a she. So, you have probably seen someone like this: very bright on the operational side but not wise about leading people. I’m inspired by Randolph’s humility – his acknowledging the role that luck and other people played in Netflix’s success. He also shows genuine regard for others’ dignity by stressing a culture in which people feel they belong. Belonging comes from a sense of shared identity, values, and experiences – which result in people feeling accepted, supported, and understood.
First and foremost, leading means relationship.
Leaders get work done through other people. And all of these people have feelings and a sense of self-worth. One of the most important questions we have about our leaders is, “Do you see me?”
The question “Do you see me” implies: Do I matter to you? Do you care about what it takes for me to succeed? Do you understand my views and my needs? Do you recognize my potential as a partner in this work or am I only a pawn you use for your own goals?
People look closely at how leaders treat them in answering these questions for themselves. Leaders who focus only on goals and violate others’ dignity do not really “see” people. It takes leader humility to treat people in ways that maintain their dignity and enthusiasm for shared goals.
These telltale signs inspire and motivate because they show others you “see” them:
1. Be clear about goals and standards: Supporting others’ dignity doesn’t mean being lax about standards. Instead, we need to communicate our expectations clearly so people know what’s required.
2. Observe how your power affects others: It may cause them to defer to you unnecessarily. Actively invite them to contribute. Minimize correcting their views unless it’s necessary. Allow as much flexibility for them to accomplish goals their own way within ethical or regulatory guidelines.
3. Teach, coach, and mentor those around you: Remember that people are not merely present to support your work agenda. They have their own interests and aspirations. Take time to discover them and provide personal support.
4. Present an emotionally welcoming demeanor: Leaders are busy people, of course, but we sometimes become so absorbed with our to-do list that we underestimate how this pushes people away. Humble leaders signal that they “see” others by putting aside this “stressed-out” demeanor so they can welcome others in meetings and conversation.
5. Seek critical feedback: No one is perfect and we see others’ imperfections. Leaders who pretend they know it all are only fooling themselves. Humble leaders are strong enough to own their limitations. They invite others to tell them, “what do you see that I could do better?” These leaders then listen and take action.
Genuine regard for others’ self-worth motivates people to give their best. And that’s the work of leadership.
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And that’s The Gist of It™ - a quick read with an actionable tip to increase your leadership success.
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Marilyn Gist, PhD