Can Self-Awareness Have a Down Side?

There is no shortage of messaging telling us we don’t measure up.  The ways we differ from cultural expectations often affect the narrative in our head. We can develop a low sense of self-worth when our differences are viewed negatively by external criticism as well as our inner critic.

Often our distorted views are highly inaccurate.

We compare ourselves to popular images of beauty, success, or other ideals, and we focus on our shortcomings. Even many leaders say they feel like an imposter.  And some are driven to extreme measures as they try to impress others or keep up. 

By emphasizing the things we don’t like about ourselves, we lose sight of our true identity, and thus, our dignity.

The real you is an inner light – a consciousness that is one-of-a-kind, unique, and special. Cultural norms change frequently:  what’s popular today is dated tomorrow. But your deeper self, your inner light, is a constant, powerful, and positive presence throughout your life – if you regularly bring your awareness to it. 

Healthy self-awareness reminds us to be grateful for what we like about ourselves, have compassion for our flaws, and avoid unnecessary negative self-judgments.

Cultural norms can affect our sense of dignity. Being criticized for things like being introverted, preferring work-life balance, or deciding to not have children can make us feel out of step. Instead, we need to embrace, not judge, our very human differences. 

A healthy self-awareness is built on reasonable self-compassion:

• What do you like best about yourself?

• What do people say they like about you?

• What do you like least about yourself?

• Are the things you don’t like about yourself important (or even real)?

• Can you begin to feel some compassion for your own flaws?

Focus on the positive things about yourself.  And try to avoid negative energy in people, situations, activities, and spaces. Being grounded in healthy self-awareness allows us to feel our personal dignity.

And that’s The Gist of It™ - Ideas to advance dignity, practice humility, and develop leaders of character and integrity.

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Marilyn Gist, PhD